Feeling fuckin fucked up
Mastered 180 yesterday...
Today cant do ler...
Den ride less thn 3 hrs nia
Parents bo dai ji wan come chuey dai ji...
Out of nowhere come kao pei
Jibai... damn fucked up lo...
Fucking pissed off....
Father worst 1 knn...
Think mother call tht time cant hear wht fucking shit he saying sia...
Behind ppl back say bad ting..
Nabeh....fuck off man...
2 days before today oso fucked up...
Fucking gay... abit sick nia wan act till so cham...
Nid bring father go see doc...
End up no nid eat sushi ler lo...
Knn... Seriously Fuck off man...
Seriously need anger managment sia...
Broke 1 laptop today...
Busted it up when got home....
No Hope ler...
No nid fix...
Actually still ok 1...
Oni let bro watch porn till sot...
Now... Button spoil..
Keyboard missing so many button..
LCD break...
Now i feel that its like...
I help people when they in trouble....
Den all take for granted de...
For example...
Mr. Stupid pig...
Treated him like a brother...
Step all over me...
Ask him help me..
Treat me like dog...
Cant fucking take it sia...
Den ppl dun like him still wan disturb de...
FUCKING POSER..
Dont let me find a fucking good reason to Knock the fucking daylights outta u... Brother...
Or should i call u Poser?
Who cares... Now yr bike de chain and handlebar let ppl steal ler... Serves you right...
A good friend once told me:
"Why you treat him so gud sia?
now his impression of you is like a DOG...
Trust me, i've seen his character, when he treats you like a dog, ignore him for afew days, give him the fucking cold shoulder... u have better friends... you dont have to have him as yr friend...
this type of ppl better off without friends...
anyway he oso trat other ppl better than he treat u...
u see lo,
u dun care him. awhile later he will come crawling back to you like a dog.
i know u have better friends other than him,
u wan u can spend time wif mow rong , kai xiang or dominic ma..
u dun need to always follow that fucker like a dog...
that fucking dog dun know whts de meaning of friendship man...
juz heed my advice when its time."
So i heeded it,
Things are still kinda fucked up...
But i can see an improvement...
I've made up my mind.
Even if he comes crawling back like a dog,
I'll not accept him as a friend anymore...
Friendship Love, Family...
All Hurt Me soo... Much...
I really wish tht i can rewind time...
Way WAY back to whr it all started...
My love for you,
When i became firends with you
And When we were in harmony.
Now it seems everyting is closing in on me...
Haiz...
I really cant blame all of you if ou think that i suck...
I really do....
Mom, Dad...
I beleive Now, Trust is something you'll have to EARN from ME all over again...
Im sorry...
But its really REALLY Hard for me to trust u nowadays...
Amah... i plead for your forgiveness but i really have to say that You failed to raise your son as a REAL man...
He treats his pets better than he treats his kidz...
He does not treat his kidz with respect...
But he demands it from them...
He makes them feel fucked tup evrytime he comes home...
When he is in a bad mood, he picks a fight...
He angers his youngest son...
He makes him wana fight...
Hes such a good example.
I LOVE YOU DAD...
How i long to say these 4 words to you...
But you make it really hard for me to say it...
I need to keep all these hatred inside of me...
Im really scared i might go mad...
Dear God,
I ask of you with my whole heart to change my life...
Make it better o God...
